Words are very powerful. They can be used for good or for evil (too dramatic?) depending on who you are and what situation you’re in. But the words we hear as we grow up stay with us no matter what. How you react to words is really a matter of how you were raised. I’ve talked about this before…how we make an imprint on our children. We are able to change patterns and prevent cycles from repeating themselves though. It’s just a matter of how you look at it.
About a year ago, someone said something very hurtful to me. It was hard for me to shake off. My husband tells me I sometimes can hold a grudge. Ok. True. But I am trying to learn how to let the hurtful words roll off me. I am trying to model it for my daughters. But I wasn’t raised to do that! My dad used to talk about a “little jug of hate.” We laugh about it now, but he held onto anger better than anyone I know.
But how do you not let it get to you? I know in my head that this person isn’t worth my time or energy and I should just let it go. But HOW do you not let it hurt?
My husband believes that it is a reflection of the person who said this evil thing – not of me, so I should just let it go. But for me, it isn’t that easy. I think about that scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere’s character tells Vivian she is a smart woman and she responds, “the bad stuff is just easier to believe.” Not that I want to make comparisons of my kids or myself to the hooker with a heart of gold! LOL
I have taught Emily and Charlotte the importance of standing up for themselves. They do it. They will not stand by and let someone do something or say something hurtful without letting them know it is NOT OK. For me, I think as a kid, I wasn’t as quick to stand up for myself. I was much more of a victim. But I learned the importance of speaking out and using my voice and have passed it on to my girls.
Maybe because I didn’t have the ability to do it as a child, I have become more aware of it and don’t stand for it as an adult either. If I feel like I am being mistreated, I speak out. Does that make me a bully, because I stand up and shut them down? What if you keep that person in your life and they do it again? Do you still keep them around? If you do, is that saying something about you?
Sometimes the words provide more questions than answers.
But I hope you are able to find the words to support your kids and teach them the importance of letting it go…instead of holding on to that little jug.
Share your experiences with me in the comments. How do you deal with the words?
To your success,
Sarah
Sarah is a native Los Angeleno with the heart of a Chicagoan. She loves A Cappella music, cooking, and swing dancing. When she’s not helping raise money for schools, sports teams and clubs, she is hanging out with and loving life with her husband and girls. For more information about what she does professionally, check out www.amomsguidetoschoolfundraising.com